Readers of this section will know of the extraordinary network that Mike ‘Kit Kat’ Kerlogue has built up whilst organising the regular Shanks Spring and Autumn meetings and that he is in touch with higher authorities to ensure that we enjoy calm and sunny conditions.
So it seemed again, as we entered through the environmentally hidden gates of Westerham Golf Club, to be greeted with a very pleasant, sunny, autumnal day and a course in excellent condition. However, he must have slipped up at Mass, or issued a profanity during his round, as we were subjected to a major deluge whilst negotiating the back nine!
No matter, 16 hardy and enthusiastic golfers started the day with a coffee and bacon roll (which Ron Ingarfield couldn’t eat on medical grounds) and were then put into teams by our organiser. When he had finished, your scribe foolishly mentioned what a relief it was not to have a Yellow Ball Competition to spoil the occasion, whereupon the organiser rose again saying “Just one more thing, the Yellow Ball ………” and the scribe was advised that he should have kept his mouth firmly closed, or words to that effect!
Best wishes were sent by Mike ‘Divot’ Windett who couldn’t be with us, placing a further financial strain on our Secretary for the outlay on chocolate.
In time-honoured tradition Kit Kats were then distributed (which Ron Ingarfield couldn’t eat on medical grounds) and players made their socially distanced way to the 1st Tee.
Normally we would have a group shot but in these COVID-19 days we observed the regs and stayed well apart, hence two starting pictures.
(the two group shot pictures)
Yes, only 11 golfers feature, probably because the photographer went out with the second group and couldn’t be bothered to wait for everyone to assemble! Any suggestion that the others did not want photographic evidence in case they were meant to be isolating could be construed as slanderous.
The teams were:
Team A: Nigel Howl, Rod Benwell and Keith Spiers.
Team B: Chris Bell, Ian Failes and Mike Kerlogue.
Team C: Geoff Parnell, Chris Godfrey and Graham Warley.
Team D: Ron Ingarfield, Mark Ingarfield and Martin Stears.
Team E: Andy Thompson, Jason Middleton, Steve Ghost and Graham Farrell.
Two teams managed to hang on to their Yellow Ball for all 18 holes – Team B and Team C, but as only Mike, Chris Godfrey and Graham Warley were able to stay for dinner they all won a bottle of wine.
The winner of the guest’s bottle of wine was Steve Ghost, who let slip that he is a Tottenham fan and probably remembers the late, great John White whose nickname was The Ghost. Our other Tottenham fan, Captain, Faldo, him, Peter Bothwick, was again AWOL having had to isolate following a family holiday in Spain – it may even have been his own family.
Winner of the magnificent Steele Bowl was Keith Spiers with an eye watering 41 points, with Chris Bell runner-up on 31. The Secretary did query Keith’s total (good naturedly, naturally) but as PICT President, Rod Benwell and your scribe had witnessed the event, particularly the impressive back nine, the score was upheld. The handicap committee may well be meeting late into the night, though.
Unfortunately, Keith was unable to stay for dinner so you will have to imagine a virtual photo of him holding the trophy aloft.
The contenders for the Steve Beckett Memorial Trophy for ‘Shanker of the Day’ were:
Andy Thompson for increasing his points total by adding VAT
Keith Spiers for hitting timber and the ball ending up 10 yards behind where he started.
Graham Farrell for a dead straight drive that went 10 inches.
Rod Benwell for losing control of his golf trolley and endangering the lives of others.
After a short discussion and vote it was deemed that the President of PICT, Rod Benwell, should be awarded the trophy as it seemed he couldn’t be bothered to run after his wayward trolley. Stories that Ron Ingarfield had to leap out of the way like a young gazelle to avoid being hospitalised are apocryphal (allegedly).
This is the fourth time that Rod has been the recipient of this trophy, but no doubt Andy Thompson will be doing his best to wrestle it from him in the future.
Our thanks to Westerham Golf Club for looking after us in a COVID-19 secure fashion, for all the golfers who turned out and to Mike ‘Kit Kat’ Kerlogue for organising another fine event and turning a small profit for the PICT coffers.
Nigel (the Scribe) Howell