I would like to tell you that it was a glorious autumnal day driving into the Mid Herts Golf Club looking forward to a coffee and bacon roll and relaxing conversation before unfurling driver on the first tee. Unfortunately, I wasn’t driving anywhere as the M1 was closed in both directions due to ‘Animals on the Road’. A swift phone call ascertained that these weren’t Keith Spiers’ club covers having escaped again but a couple of sheep making a bid for freedom across the King’s Highway.
Two hours later it was indeed still a glorious autumnal day as I drove into the car park to be greeted by Captain Bothwick ‘Faldo’ who had secured a bacon bap wrapped in foil (bless him), so I had sufficient calorific intake to make it to the first tee one hour behind schedule.
The rest of the party, sadly only numbering a further seven people, were well into their round whilst I apologised profusely to the starter marshal before attempting some deforestation from the first tee.
The only picture of the starting party is the one of Mike Gee, who may or may not be wearing the sunglasses ‘borrowed’ from the Secretary at our last meeting!
Team A were Tony Wood and his guest Robert Moore, Keith Spiers, and Mike Gee.
Team B were Mike Kerlogue and Graham Warley with Peter Bothwick and Nigel Howl bringing up the rear. (I know this is a perfect opening for a cutting remark or an unwoke witticism, but legal eagles are an expensive commodity, so let us adopt austerity and keep our thoughts to ourselves!).
We do hope that the small numbers (of the party, not the golf scores) were just a one off due to post covid holidays or other commitments that had to take precedence and that the turnout will be enhanced the next time we meet.
Our secretary, Mike ‘Kit Kat’ Kerlogue, who kept a low profile at this meeting due to his image rights contract not being renewed, decided that a yellow ball competition could not be entertained with the sparse numbers. Instead, a bottle was presented to each team winner with the highest stabelford score.
We were delighted to welcome Gill Windett, wife of our dear departed friend, Mike ‘Divot’ Windett, to present the prizes. Tony Wood, winner in Team A, with a robust score of 42 points and Mike Kerlogue, winner in Team B, with a more modest but befitting score of 29 points.
The Steele Bowl, best score for those with handicaps of 24 or above, is competed for at the Autumn meeting and Nigel Howl somehow retained it due to lack of competition and nobody being able, or willing, to recalculate handicaps on the new portable World Handicap System.
The eagerly awaited Steve Beckett Trophy for Shanker of the Day had a number of nominations: Tony Wood for losing a family heirloom which may have constituted a 15th club in the bag if it had not been lost; Mike Gee for performing a balletic pose when playing a shot through his legs; Graham Warley for fiddling with his buggy remote control in his pocket (no, we are being serious here!) and causing said buggy to veer across the 6th tee endangering life before rolling into a ditch; Robert Moore for twice bombarding an adjacent Romany Camp from the 11th tee and for remaining calm in light of a very frosty response to his request ‘could I have my balls back, please?’
A light-hearted and good-natured debate concluded with Robert being presented with the award on his Shanks’ debut.
Finally, and with much fanfare, we had the inaugural presentation of the Divot Trophy in memory of Mike Windett. The extra-large rake was awarded for the greatest number of bunkers visited in the round and was fiercely contested.
Keith Spiers and Mike Kerlogue both visited three each and a time out was needed for a swift committee meeting to ascertain that the trophy could be awarded on count back. Keith’s last two visits were on the 16th and 18th and he prevailed over Kit Kat who visited the 15th and 18th.
Our thanks to Mid Herts GC for looking after us in a most hospitable manner after an initial mix up over tee times, Tony Wood, President of PICT for his support and many hugs to Gill WIndett for attending the dinner and presenting the prizes.
£118 was raised for PICT and those who attended had a thoroughly enjoyable day. Hats off again to Mike Kerlogue for his organisation and fortitude.
Report by Nigel (the Scribe) Howl